The Hidden Struggle of Secondary Infertility with Susan DiGregorio
Susan DiGregorio of Maine was diagnosed just days before her 38th birthday with Stage Ib hormone positive breast cancer. Susan is a mom, wife, volunteer and also works in real estate.
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Navigating the Hidden Struggle of Secondary Infertility After Breast Cancer
Breast cancer can shift our lives in ways we never anticipated, and for many survivors, it brings not only the challenges of treatment and recovery but also profound emotional struggles, including secondary infertility. On The Burn, we’re sharing the heartfelt experience of Susan D. Gregorio, a brave survivor who learned to navigate these complexities after her diagnosis.
A Life-Altering Diagnosis
In 2022, just days before her 38th birthday, Susan received the shocking news that she had Stage Ib hormone-positive breast cancer. Reflecting on this pivotal moment, she recalls playing with her three-year-old daughter when she felt an unusual pain in her breast — a moment that would change everything.
Initially filled with confusion and anger, Susan eventually recognized that her daughter’s innocent play had led her to discover her cancer, prompting her to seek medical help before it was too late.
The Decision to Expand a Family
Before her diagnosis, Susan had been contemplating expanding her family. Despite her hesitations about a second child — stemming from a difficult first delivery and postpartum experience — the diagnosis forced her to make decisions quickly, leaving her with no agency over her body or fertility. As she began her cancer treatment, the idea of pursuing IVF became daunting, both emotionally and financially.
Susan decided against IVF, realizing that the health risks and significant age gap between her children were factors that weighed heavily on her heart. In just a month, she transitioned from having years to consider another child to having to make a decision within a week.
Grieving the Loss of Future Possibilities
As she began her recovery from a mastectomy and radiation treatments, Susan found herself grappling with grief — not only for the loss of her fertility but also for the connection she felt with other parents. Seeing friends become pregnant while she faced her own battles added another layer of heartache.
Her daughter’s innocent questions about when they would have another child compounded this pain. Susan often found herself struggling to explain the complexities of her situation to a young child who simply wanted a sibling to play with.
Finding Joy Amidst the Pain
Yet, amidst the sorrow and longing, Susan also discovered moments of liberation in her choice not to pursue a second child. Reflecting on her own childhood and sibling dynamics, she found comfort in the simplicity of her current family structure. She also began to appreciate the time and energy she could dedicate to her daughter without the added responsibilities of a second child.
In 2023, Susan and her family made a choice that brought new joy into their home: they adopted a puppy. This decision didn’t replace the idea of having another child, but it allowed Susan to experience the joys and challenges of raising a young being, helping her reconnect with the chaos she once observed in other families.
The Long Road to Acceptance
Susan’s journey has been one of gradual acceptance. Learning to embrace her decisions regarding IVF and fertility has been challenging, particularly given how abruptly she had to make those choices. There’s a finality to these decisions that can feel overwhelming, but Susan has found solace in focusing on the joy her family brings her.
As she continues her hormone treatment, she navigates the complexities of living with the potential for recurrence while balancing the everyday realities of motherhood. Each step forward has been a reminder to cherish her present moments, even amidst the lingering shadows of trauma.
Community and Connection
A key aspect of Susan’s healing has been finding community. By reaching out to fellow survivors and participating in events, she has been able to share her experiences and feel less isolated. These connections have provided a safe space to express her feelings and validate her struggles, reminding her that she is not alone in this journey.
Conclusion: Embracing the Journey
For breast cancer survivors grappling with secondary infertility, Susan’s story highlights the emotional complexities of navigating these life-altering changes. It’s a journey filled with grief, acceptance, and moments of joy. While the road may be fraught with challenges, it is also marked by the resilience of the human spirit and the power of community.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone. Seek connection, share your story, and embrace the moments of joy amidst the struggles. Together, we can navigate this journey of survivorship and find strength in our shared experiences.
Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode
Set your timer for eight minutes. Write without stopping or editing. Really trust the process. Keep your hand moving. There is magic to be found in here.
Acceptance looks like …
Write without stopping. See what needs to come out and where it will take you. Happy writing. Until next time, take good care.
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