Showing Up with Keri Smith
Keri Smith is a Senior Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor living in Upstate New York. She was diagnosed at 37 with hormone positive breast cancer and is living with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer (MBC).
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Showing Up: Balancing Triumph and Turmoil in the Face of Cancer
Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and sometimes, those moments of joy we’ve worked tirelessly for are overshadowed by unexpected challenges. Keri Sullivan’s story, featured in Wildfire Magazine's 2024 "Work & Career" issue, captures this poignant dichotomy. In her essay “Showing Up,” Keri recounts the bittersweet experience of receiving a long-overdue promotion on the same day she was diagnosed with cancer.
A Day of Mixed Emotions
On January 11, 2023, Keri’s phone rang twice. The first call confirmed she needed a biopsy following a recent scan, and the second delivered the news that she had earned the promotion she’d worked so hard for. Sitting at her dining room table, she was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions—elation and dread colliding in a moment she’d never forget.
While the promotion represented years of dedication and growth in her career, the diagnosis introduced a shadow that was impossible to ignore. “It’s hard to think about my job and my goals for the future without cancer looming in the background,” Keri admits. “I still feel robbed, at times, of fully being able to embrace my achievements.”
The Insidious Nature of Cancer
Cancer doesn’t just impact the body—it alters how you see and experience the world. For Keri, it’s become an ever-present lens through which she views her career, her relationships, and her future. Even as time has passed, the diagnosis continues to be an unwelcome hitchhiker, tagging along for every success and every moment of joy.
“Cancer is a thief,” Keri reflects. “It steals your ability to fully celebrate, to be present, to embrace the things you’ve earned. Even if the promotion and diagnosis hadn’t coincided, cancer would still have cast its shadow.”
Finding Strategies to Cope
Living with metastatic breast cancer (MBC) means learning to navigate the mental and emotional weight it brings. One strategy that resonated with Keri was setting aside specific “appointments” to think about cancer. By mentally compartmentalizing these moments, she’s working to reclaim her present-day joy.
“When those thoughts come, I try to say, ‘Not right now—I’ll think about you later.’ It’s not perfect, and I’m still working on it, but it helps me focus on the moment,” Keri shares. Whether she’s at work or spending time with family and friends, this practice helps her push cancer to the background, even if only temporarily.
Balancing Relationships and Conversations
Another challenge Keri has faced is figuring out when and how to share her experiences with loved ones. On the day of her diagnosis and promotion, she made multiple calls to her mom—sharing the news in pieces to avoid overwhelming her. “It was a mix of emotions for her too—excitement for the promotion but the weight of the health news took center stage.”
Over time, Keri has learned to prioritize “non-cancer” moments with family and friends. While it’s important to have trusted spaces to process and talk about her diagnosis, she values carving out time where cancer isn’t the focus.
Writing as a Tool for Healing
For Keri, writing has become a powerful outlet for processing her journey. Though initially hesitant to put her feelings into words, she’s found comfort and clarity in the act of storytelling.
“At first, my journaling was just me venting—tears and anger and a lot of ‘Why me?’ But over time, especially with prompts, I’ve been able to focus on different aspects of my life, not just cancer,” Keri explains. Her essay for the metastatic breast cancer issue of Wildfire Magazine was particularly therapeutic, allowing her to explore the emotional complexity of advocacy and representation in the cancer community.
Moving Forward, One Day at a Time
Keri’s story is a reminder of the resilience it takes to navigate life’s highs and lows, often simultaneously. While cancer remains a part of her reality, she continues to show up—for her career, her loved ones, and herself.
Though the journey is far from easy, Keri’s ability to find moments of joy amidst the uncertainty is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. As she works to balance her goals and her health, her story inspires others to face their own challenges with grace, determination, and hope.
Whether you’re navigating a personal diagnosis or supporting a loved one, Keri’s story underscores the importance of making space for joy—even in the shadow of adversity. It’s a story of learning to live fully, even when life doesn’t go as planned.
Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode
Set your timer for eight minutes. Write without stopping or editing yourself. Keep your hand moving. There is magic in that.
Good news. Bad news.
You can think of this like that car game you may have played as a kid where you call and return “fortunately” and “unfortunately,” letting it be a little back and forth.
If you find that you write best with a good prompt, check out our free prompts and learn about our writing workshops.
Happy writing! Until next time, take good care.
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