Asymmetry with Julia D. Pereira
Photo by Adrianne Mathiowetz
Julia D. Pereira is a psychologist and artist who was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer (TNBC) at 32. In this episode Julia reads her essay “Asymmetry” from Wildfire Magazine’s 2024 “Queer” issue.
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Embracing Uncertainty: Julia Dobner Pereira’s Journey Through Breast Cancer and Self-Discovery
One of the most profound lessons I share with my workshop students is that writing memoir and personal narrative is about uncovering the universal theme within your unique story. What is the larger significance of the personal experiences you’re sharing? Ultimately, as readers and listeners, we are seeking the wisdom the author has gained about life and how those insights might apply to our own experiences.
On this episode of The Burn, I’m excited to introduce Julia Dobner Pereira, a storyteller who exemplifies this beautifully through her exploration of uncertainty — a theme that resonates with us all. Julia is a psychologist and artist who, at 32, was diagnosed with Stage II, triple negative breast cancer (TNBC). Her work delves into the mysterious and often uncharted territories of human experience, and her narrative offers a compelling look into her personal journey with cancer.
Julia’s story, “Asymmetry,” featured in our 2024 Queer in Cancerland issue, captures the essence of her experience and the theme of uncertainty. Let’s dive into her narrative and the insights it offers.
The Choice of Asymmetry
In her story, Julia reflects on a pivotal moment with her plastic surgeon. Confronted with the decision of whether to undergo breast reconstruction, Julia expresses a desire to remain asymmetrical — a choice that surprises her medical team. Her preference for asymmetry, though unconventional, becomes a powerful symbol of her journey through cancer. The surgeon’s reaction underscores a broader theme in Julia’s narrative: the struggle to find personal agency in the face of medical norms and expectations.
Julia’s exploration of the theme of choice continues as she navigates various options for reconstruction and faces the limitations imposed by her diagnosis. Despite being presented with a limited set of options, Julia’s desire is to find expansiveness within the confines of her medical reality. This quest for choice, she realizes, is often more about the freedom to envision different possibilities than about the options themselves.
Finding Magic in the Unexpected
One of the most striking elements of Julia’s story is her ability to find moments of magic and beauty amidst the challenges of cancer treatment. After her surgery, Julia experiences a profound shift in her perception of her own body. Instead of feeling grief or disgust, she finds relief and curiosity in the appearance of her scar and the tissue expander. This moment of self-acceptance and love for her body is described as almost inconceivable, revealing a deep sense of connection to her own resilience and vitality.
Julia’s narrative also highlights the importance of rituals and symbolic acts in navigating her experience. A ritual with friends in the woods before surgery and the use of imagery during a blood transfusion become sources of comfort and strength. These practices help Julia maintain a sense of agency and connection to something larger than herself, even when facing the uncertainty of her treatment.
The Strength to Embrace Uncertainty
Julia’s reflection on the nature of bravery and choice reveals a crucial insight: the strength to face cancer and its challenges often comes from acknowledging and accepting uncertainty rather than striving for control. Julia acknowledges that while her journey has been filled with moments of fear and anxiety, her ability to embrace uncertainty has been transformative. This acceptance allows her to tap into a deeper well of strength and peace.
In our conversation, Julia discusses how the choices she makes about her treatment are not just about enduring the process but about actively shaping her experience. The agency to make decisions — even difficult ones — plays a significant role in her sense of empowerment. Her story encourages others to recognize that while we may not always have control over our circumstances, we do have the power to choose how we respond to them.
Conclusion: A Message of Empowerment and Reflection
Julia Dobner Pereira’s story is a powerful reminder of the universal themes we all encounter in our personal narratives. Her journey through cancer, marked by her exploration of asymmetry, choice, and uncertainty, offers valuable insights into how we can find meaning and beauty even in the most challenging circumstances.
As readers, we are invited to reflect on our own experiences and consider how we might embrace uncertainty and find our own moments of magic. Julia’s story reminds us that even in the face of life’s most daunting challenges, we can still discover new dimensions of ourselves and our lives.
For those interested in exploring their own stories and finding universal themes within their personal narratives, Julia’s experience offers a poignant example of how embracing uncertainty can lead to profound self-discovery and growth.
Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode
Think about the idea of choice. I have two prompts for you. You can do both of them or just one.
1) I said, yes.
2) I said, no.
You can always change a prompt to suit you. It could be, I should have said, yes or I should have said no. However you want to dig into this is okay. The idea is to write about choice. Set your timer for eight minutes. Without stopping or editing, see what needs to come out and where it will take you.
Happy writing. Until next time, take good care.
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